Monday, June 7, 2010

Am I Losing It?

I have been so stressed out lately!

I finally have my 6 year old's first IEP scheduled for tomorrow morning at school. I'm honestly freaking out a little bit. After speaking with several of the special educators at the school (I work at the same school my children attend so I know most of them) I'm even more concerned that the school is going to blow off my concerns and tell me that he is too young to be tested.

While I'm not an expert by any means and I don't know exactly what the issue is with him, I do know that something is going on. I have my thoughts as to what it is but from what I gather the school isn't going to be too cooperative with this.

I know I should go in there with a positive attitude and know that they aren't going to "gang up" on me but unfortunately I'm not feeling that way now. I have a feeling this is going to be a long drawn out battle and I don't know how prepared I am for this. I do know I have no other option though as I believe this is what is best for my son.

At the same time I'm going through all of these emotions with my 6 year old, I'm slowing beginning to think I'm losing control with my almost 3 year old. The tantrums he once threw several months ago; have only gotten worse. It seems that no matter what I do - he doesn't care and doesn't listen. I know that the people who read this and know both me and my son, will think I'm crazy in saying this - but he is getting way out of control and I don't have the slightest idea with what to do. (Yes, the innocent little boy that some of you know - has a whole other side to him. And don't try to tell me otherwise.)

Several people have suggested that he is testing me since my husband is gone and I'm sure that has something to do with it; but, that doesn't help me solve the problem. I'm seriously scared that he is going to be completely out of control by the time my husband gets home.

And it use to be that he would only throw these tantrums when we were home and now it doesn't seem to matter where we are. He is so strong willed and so stubborn. (And again, the people who know me will say that I'm just as stubborn too but again that doesn't help me get through this.) At lacrosse practice last week I had to strap him into his car seat in the truck screaming at the top of his lungs because he wasn't getting his way and wouldn't listen. Today I had to leave the YMCA because he was screaming when I tried to drop him off at child care. And not just yelling, screaming bloody murder telling people not to touch him whenever someone got close. I was embarrassed to say the least and in the end - he got his way, which was to leave because he didn't want to be there.

I am at a complete loss and feel like I'm losing all control. Add all of this to the fact that I can't sleep at night (I'm lucky most nights to get 5 or 6 hours of sleep tops) it makes for a very bad day! It's like I'm spiraling out of control and I have to do something NOW! I just don't know what....


TheMarineWife said...

Ohhhh...Amy! It's really just the age...I promise! Kyler will be 3 on the 21st & he is doing the EXACT same thing...I'm sure it's gotten worse for your son since hubby is gone...but mines isn't gone yet & Kyler is a T.U.R.D! We've also had to do the carseat thing because his tantrums are so unreal. We've tried hot sauce in the mouth for his rediculous screaming...the one thing that has worked is a cold shower...I'm sure it sounds horrible & mean but it is literally the only thing that works with him. When he just goes & goes & goes & I feel at "that point" I take his clothes off & put him in a cold shower (not freezing but enough that he doesn't like it) & it takes him about 10 minutes max for him to calm down & then he takes a warm bath & he's's sooo weird! We are definitely trying to get it under control before Paul leaves too!

Renee said...

Amy...stand your ground! You are the Mom and Dad right now...that's 2 parents to one 2 year old. You can take him!! :o)

Big HUG!!!

tiffer said...

Good Luck at the testing and do start with a positive attitude. I hope everything works out! And as far as the 2 year old almost 3, I agree it is the age, just keep consistent and firm and he will realize you are not going to tolerate his behavior! And if you need any advice, call my mom cause I was a horrible defiant child from what she tells me :-). Let me know how things go today!

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This Blog is my outlet. It's where I share my thoughts and feelings. It's a place where I can vent. Not everyone thinks alike. People don't always share the same religious or political views. Some people (like me!) occasionally think in more “colorful” terms than others. Sorry, but I'm a big girl and can use cuss words and talk about not-so-mainstream stuff if I want to. If you find that sort of language offensive / shocking / annoying, you may want to stop reading now. Life as a military wife ain't always pretty. It's my life, though, so don't say I didn't warn you.