December Part 2 (A.K.A. The time CPS was called)

So this next section of December I've contemplated posting about at all.  I've written and re-written this post several different ways trying to give enough detail without giving all the intimate details of my children, who I often try to shelter on here.

Basically what it boils down to is discipline.  Before I go any further, I understand that this topic is and can be touchy with some people.  However, the way that my husband and I see fit to discipline our children is our decision.

Now with all that out of the way...I'll continue....

One of my children decided to mouth off to me one night and they consequently got smacked in the mouth for doing so and grounded to their room for the week.

What I never imagined happening next, did.  My child went into school and apparently told several people that I hit them.  Now let me back up a little bit.  Everyone at my children's school knows who I am.  I worked there full time last year and have been substituting throughout the school this year.

So when I found out that basically one of my co-workers reported me to CPS (child protective services) I was beyond angry.  I get that child abuse needs to be reported and I don't think it is nearly enough, especially at our school - but seriously for smacking my child for talking back??  My child has never gone to school with so much as a bruise on them and this co-worker felt the need to report me??

Since when did corporal punishment become illegal?  Oh yea, that's right.  In this state, it's NOT!

Of course all of this happened on a Friday (and a week before Christmas at that) and so I spent the remainder of the weekend and several days after that, stressing out over what was going to happen - even though I knew I did absolutely nothing wrong. This has got to be one of the worst feelings a parent can go through, even worse when the other parent is thousands of miles away.

As of this point in time, nothing has come about any of this.  My husband and I did sit said child down that night and via Skype discussed the severity of the situation.  We explained to said child the difference between discipline and abuse.  We told said child the possible consequences of their actions - not only to themselves, but to us as parents and us as a family.

I think they get it now.  At least I hope they do.

As for my co-worker.  I know which one it was.  I haven't confronted her yet - but I do plan on it.  I'm trying to wait a while and try to become less angry about the whole situation.  And I'm just not there yet.

On a side note, if you feel the need to report child abuse - please do so.  But before you do, please ensure you have spoken in detail with the child and even contacted the parent for their side if you are unsure.  Please don't put a family through the hell that this woman has to us.

Homecomming Video

I'm sure most people have seen this video on Facebook.  But in case you haven't, it is a must see!  

I think I was crying not even a minute into it and cried until the end.  Very touching.

More Catching Up

Another crazy thing that has happened since I've been gone.

• I had an unexpected visitor show up on my doorstep last Tuesday night.  At 10pm.  

Here's the story:

I hadn't been feeling good the few days prior to that.  I suspect I had the early stages of an ear infection that has since thankfully cured itself.  I was planning on getting a little bit of work done on a paper and going to bed by 10:30 that night.

The dog starts barking outrageously crazy around 10 o'clock.  He has been doing this more and more recently (Which is super annoying when you have three kids sleeping!) and generally for no good reason what-so-ever.  Normally it's a dog walking down the street or some kid on a skate board or sometimes I think maybe just a leaf flying by.  Who knows.  The point is, I've either been ignoring him lately or calling him downstairs to get him to shut up.

That night though, something told me to get up and see what he was barking at.  Under normal circumstances, I use the window upstairs to look out and see what is going on.  See I'm short - and the peep hole isn't always the easiest for me to reach.  However, again that night for some reason I was inclined to stop on the landing and use the peep hole.

I stand on my tip-toes and peer out the peep hole and Oh.My.God. there is someone there!  I had a thousand thoughts run through my head as I came down off my tip-toes.  (Of course as a military spouse of a deployed soldier, you always have a fear of your worse nightmare coming true with that unexpected knock at the door.)

Within a split second I'm back on my tip-toes looking out.

And within the next second I'm throwing the door open.

Open to my big sis!

Who was supposedly in New Zealand.  On the other side of the world!

See my sister left last October for a round the world trip.  She was not due to be back in the States until late September/early October.  (You can read all about her adventure here.)

After ten months of traveling she was tired of being on the go, homesick and running low on funds.  So she came home early.  But conveniently failed to mention it to anyone in the family. 

It was definitely a nice surprise that brought a rush of emotions and tears to my eyes!

She ended up spending the next four days with us hanging out.  It was as if she never left and we picked right back up where we left off.  I couldn't mention it earlier because I'm not sure who reads my blog these days and she still had more people to surprise.  The surprises are finally all done though and you can read the story from her perspective here.  

 I'm so, so glad to have my sis back home.  Now if only I could hurry up and get that damn husband of mine home too!

The Whirlwind.....

That is the only way to describe these past few weeks.  I have pretty much decided that there is no way other than bullet points to update everything that has gone on.  So here it goes:

• The kids spent a week home from summer camps and daycare and we did various day trips.
• We went to the Splash Playground at South Germantown park.

• We went to the National Zoo 

(Orangutans crossing in the zoo!)

• We made several visits to the pool.
• We went to see Toy Story 3.
• There was a stabbing in my neighborhood.  
• I planned and had my youngest's 3rd birthday.

(Playing with new toys with Pop)

• We went to see fireworks with some friends. 

• My youngest turned 3!

• I dealt with stress stemming from this post.
• It was discovered that my oldest son was covered in poison ivy.
• The kids all had their annual physicals.
• I had another dentist appointment.
• I attended my first Hearts Apart meeting with a friend.  
• I argued with Concordia and my dentist over some charges. 
• I took a mid-term for school. 
• I've been missing my husband like crazy!
• I spent a day at the pool by myself relaxing.
• It appears my youngest is beginning to suffer from separation anxiety.
• We enjoyed the company of some friends for a friends birthday party.
• We spent some more family time at the pool.  (My youngest is turning into a fish!)
• I took my oldest son to be evaluated.

This is the basics of our whirlwind that has been our past 2 1/2 weeks.  I am so ready for things to slow down a little and try to enjoy some of what is left of the summer.  I really need to work or de-stressing and trying to regain some of my emotional stability. 

Next week, my daughter has another week off of summer camp and we'll be redecorating her room - stay turned for updates on that....  (reminder to self:  take pics of her room currently)

My Baby Is Three!

My youngest turned three today!  It's so hard to believe that the time has gone by this quickly.  He has grown into a very independent, energetic, smart, handsome little boy before my very eyes!  Of course he's three and so there is also the sassy-ness that comes along with that, but we are trying to squash that pretty quickly.

Of course this is also the first kids birthday that my husband has ever missed and while the kids seem to be holding up just fine I'm the one who is really struggling these last few days!  I completely stressed myself out over his party on Saturday and come to find out, I shouldn't have because besides his parents, my parents and my grandmother - no one bothered to show up!  Actually some of them never even bothered to tell me one way or the other if they were going to come at all!

And what's even more upsetting than that, today on his actual birthday, the only one who called to wish him a happy birthday, was his Daddy!   (Daddy calling is not the upsetting part, the only is)  Can someone please explain to me how my husband can call from 6500+ miles away but not one single family member, from either side of our family, can actually call to wish him a happy birthday!  (Now, I do have to say that my sis, who is on a round the world trip, did do a birthday post for him and I wasn't really expecting her to call.)  I'm crushed! 

Back to the point of this post though.... 

Happy Birthday Dude-y!!  Mommy and Daddy love you very much!

(yes, I call him that and yes is sounds like the same word for poopy.  But that's not that weird because my oldest is called Knucklebutt (which has over the years been shortened to Butt) and my middle son we use to call FatBoy (until he called someone fat one day in the grocery store and didn't know he shouldn't) and my husband and I call each other Shithead and Shitface.)*


*all names truly are given out of love.  And when our oldest asked us (well actually my husband) to stop calling her that out in public, we complied; which we will do with all of them.  The youngest still loves it and gets upset if I call him anything else!  Please... I really don't need anyone to harass me about my kids nicknames today.

Unthinkable

I can't begin to explain how much I miss my husband tonight.  Some horror has struck my neighborhood tonight and really has me shaken up.  I'm not going to go into details tonight - maybe not ever.  At least until I know for sure I have all the facts straight. 

Oh how I wish he could be here holding me tonight......

And not to worry anyone - my husband is fine, I'm fine and my kids are fine. 

Am I Losing It?

I have been so stressed out lately!

I finally have my 6 year old's first IEP scheduled for tomorrow morning at school. I'm honestly freaking out a little bit. After speaking with several of the special educators at the school (I work at the same school my children attend so I know most of them) I'm even more concerned that the school is going to blow off my concerns and tell me that he is too young to be tested.

While I'm not an expert by any means and I don't know exactly what the issue is with him, I do know that something is going on. I have my thoughts as to what it is but from what I gather the school isn't going to be too cooperative with this.

I know I should go in there with a positive attitude and know that they aren't going to "gang up" on me but unfortunately I'm not feeling that way now. I have a feeling this is going to be a long drawn out battle and I don't know how prepared I am for this. I do know I have no other option though as I believe this is what is best for my son.

At the same time I'm going through all of these emotions with my 6 year old, I'm slowing beginning to think I'm losing control with my almost 3 year old. The tantrums he once threw several months ago; have only gotten worse. It seems that no matter what I do - he doesn't care and doesn't listen. I know that the people who read this and know both me and my son, will think I'm crazy in saying this - but he is getting way out of control and I don't have the slightest idea with what to do. (Yes, the innocent little boy that some of you know - has a whole other side to him. And don't try to tell me otherwise.)

Several people have suggested that he is testing me since my husband is gone and I'm sure that has something to do with it; but, that doesn't help me solve the problem. I'm seriously scared that he is going to be completely out of control by the time my husband gets home.

And it use to be that he would only throw these tantrums when we were home and now it doesn't seem to matter where we are. He is so strong willed and so stubborn. (And again, the people who know me will say that I'm just as stubborn too but again that doesn't help me get through this.) At lacrosse practice last week I had to strap him into his car seat in the truck screaming at the top of his lungs because he wasn't getting his way and wouldn't listen. Today I had to leave the YMCA because he was screaming when I tried to drop him off at child care. And not just yelling, screaming bloody murder telling people not to touch him whenever someone got close. I was embarrassed to say the least and in the end - he got his way, which was to leave because he didn't want to be there.

I am at a complete loss and feel like I'm losing all control. Add all of this to the fact that I can't sleep at night (I'm lucky most nights to get 5 or 6 hours of sleep tops) it makes for a very bad day! It's like I'm spiraling out of control and I have to do something NOW! I just don't know what....

Songs in My Head

Are there songs out there that remind you of your spouse? (I was going to say husband, but I corrected myself just to be politically correct in case there are any men lurking out there.)

My husband and I have quite a few but my new favorite to listen to when I'm down is this:



It just seems to be fitting for our deployment and always puts a smile on my face - even if I do shed a few tears in the process.

Do you have favorite songs that remind you of your spouse?

Emotional Ride

I had a wonderful time with my husband during his pass from the mob site. It was like he was never gone and we just fell back into our normal routines. It just seemed like he was coming back from any other extended TDY that he's had over the past several years.

It all didn't really hit me until Tuesday night though that I actually had to take him back the following day to the mob site. Watching him say good night to the kids for the last time for a year broke my heart. Listening to my 6 year old cry about not wanting Daddy to go, broke my heart. Listening to my 2 year old tell Daddy he didn't want him to go back on the boat, broke my heart. Watching my 9 year old be braver and stronger than any 9 year old should have to be, broke my heart.

It's been a rough couple days since he's been gone too. Walking into our bedroom, his scent is still there. I dread the day when I realize I can no longer smell it. Picking up his clothes and shoes and putting them away was painful knowing I wouldn't be doing it again for a year. Folding the last of his laundry for the next year brought me to tears.

I'm sure all these emotions are normal. As usual though I'm trying to stay busy and put on a strong front for the kids. I know that I need to be strong for them.

I'll post more about his leave in a few days and I know I have a few updates to give and even a blog award to recognize and pass on! Right now though I'm just trying to adjust.....

Drained

Hmmm....where do I start? It has been a long, hard weekend. Not just for me but for the kids too. The oldest two broke down and cried (or should I say bawled) their eyes out last night. It was so unexpected as neither of them have really showed too much emotion up until that point.

We've been talking with the kids since December about the deployment and none of them cried when we told them or at any other point, so we were thinking they viewed it as any other time that Daddy has left. (Which has never been for a whole year, but it's frequent enough that a month to the kids is no big deal.)

I'm not sure what exactly happened last night though. As I sat there on the couch with my kids sobbing in my lap, I was waiting for myself to break down again and join in with them. I really thought that's what was going to happen. Instead, holding my children, I had this incredible strength come over me and I realized I had to be strong for my kids. I couldn't let them see me break down at that point because they needed to pull their strength from me; and how could they do that if I was a puddle on the floor.

When my husband left for the mob site today, (they are already there and have made it safely if anyone is wondering) I knew I had to do the same thing again today. I stood strong - hugged and kissed him goodbye and left. We decided that we would leave before the bus so it was us saying goodbye instead of him leaving us.

It seems to have worked out, the kids did the same as I and have been much better today as well. It also hasn't hurt that I've kept all of us busy all day and haven't allowed for much down time. I'm sure there will still be many more tears shed over the next year, but for now it feels good to be reassured that I am a strong person and I can get through the next year.

It's Looming....

The time for him to report to the mob site is getting closer and closer. Closer than I care to really think about. Of course do you think he has even begun to pack - NOPE! Not at all. Nothing! He just today, brought home his foot locker for all of his personal items. Seriously, I'm wondering if this would have been easier if it's been done for weeks now? I'm thinking probably because I would have gotten use to seeing the piles of his stuff. Now we're down to the wire and this is consuming his time - my time! And I'm not happy about it.

I also had a final test due for one of my graduate classes this week and I have a group assignment due next week as well. I am so glad that I only decided to take one class this semester! And to think at the beginning of the semester I was thinking it was going to be a really easy semester and was ready to pick up another class.

And to top it all off, I sent all of our requests to the banks to drop the interest rates to 6% due to SCRA back in January in hopes of having it all completed by now. Is it? Of course NOT! I have spent over 4 hours on the phone with banks in the past 2 days. 4 HOURS!! Because that's exactly what I want to be doing right now instead of spending time with my hubby.

Oh yea, and I also told the teacher I work with that I won't be returning next school year. Boy did that suck! Her and I have become great friends this year and we were both looking forward to next school year but I've decided that I just can't handle working 4 days a week, 3 kids, and sports practices at least 2-4 nights a week and still be able to maintain my household while my husband is gone. I'm sure there are some of you out there that can do all that and more, I'm just not feeling up for it.

Needless to say, with all going on and all the goodbye's to my husband I've had to hear over the past 2 weeks, I've been on the verge of a break down. It finally happened this morning - where I just sobbed uncontrollably for about 10 minutes before I was able to collect myself, gather my thoughts and remember that I'm a strong person and I can do this!