Friday, May 14, 2010

Emotional Ride

I had a wonderful time with my husband during his pass from the mob site. It was like he was never gone and we just fell back into our normal routines. It just seemed like he was coming back from any other extended TDY that he's had over the past several years.

It all didn't really hit me until Tuesday night though that I actually had to take him back the following day to the mob site. Watching him say good night to the kids for the last time for a year broke my heart. Listening to my 6 year old cry about not wanting Daddy to go, broke my heart. Listening to my 2 year old tell Daddy he didn't want him to go back on the boat, broke my heart. Watching my 9 year old be braver and stronger than any 9 year old should have to be, broke my heart.

It's been a rough couple days since he's been gone too. Walking into our bedroom, his scent is still there. I dread the day when I realize I can no longer smell it. Picking up his clothes and shoes and putting them away was painful knowing I wouldn't be doing it again for a year. Folding the last of his laundry for the next year brought me to tears.

I'm sure all these emotions are normal. As usual though I'm trying to stay busy and put on a strong front for the kids. I know that I need to be strong for them.

I'll post more about his leave in a few days and I know I have a few updates to give and even a blog award to recognize and pass on! Right now though I'm just trying to adjust.....

3 comments:

shan said...

I miss you!

mydeploymentcopingtool said...

Hey there,

I am at the very start of a long year too, so I am right here with ya. The last night was so hard for us as well. It's the kids that make it so unbearable. If you ever need to talk, let me know cuz chances are, I will need a buddy too.

Lindsey

Kelli said...

Tears came to my eyes and that lump came to my throat reading your blog today. I hope the adjustment is coming easily, although in saying that I know it probably isn't! We are knew to military life. My husband is finishing up training next month and then we will be going to our first duty station, and he will more than likely deploy before Christmas. I am NOT looking forward to the exact emotions you wrote about today. But there is something encouraging to know that I wont' be alone when it comes. I hope that same fact encourages you as well. By the way I found your blog thru the Military Spouse Blog Hop, feel free to check me out at kellibeuten.blogspot.com

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This Blog is my outlet. It's where I share my thoughts and feelings. It's a place where I can vent. Not everyone thinks alike. People don't always share the same religious or political views. Some people (like me!) occasionally think in more “colorful” terms than others. Sorry, but I'm a big girl and can use cuss words and talk about not-so-mainstream stuff if I want to. If you find that sort of language offensive / shocking / annoying, you may want to stop reading now. Life as a military wife ain't always pretty. It's my life, though, so don't say I didn't warn you.