December Part 2 (A.K.A. The time CPS was called)

So this next section of December I've contemplated posting about at all.  I've written and re-written this post several different ways trying to give enough detail without giving all the intimate details of my children, who I often try to shelter on here.

Basically what it boils down to is discipline.  Before I go any further, I understand that this topic is and can be touchy with some people.  However, the way that my husband and I see fit to discipline our children is our decision.

Now with all that out of the way...I'll continue....

One of my children decided to mouth off to me one night and they consequently got smacked in the mouth for doing so and grounded to their room for the week.

What I never imagined happening next, did.  My child went into school and apparently told several people that I hit them.  Now let me back up a little bit.  Everyone at my children's school knows who I am.  I worked there full time last year and have been substituting throughout the school this year.

So when I found out that basically one of my co-workers reported me to CPS (child protective services) I was beyond angry.  I get that child abuse needs to be reported and I don't think it is nearly enough, especially at our school - but seriously for smacking my child for talking back??  My child has never gone to school with so much as a bruise on them and this co-worker felt the need to report me??

Since when did corporal punishment become illegal?  Oh yea, that's right.  In this state, it's NOT!

Of course all of this happened on a Friday (and a week before Christmas at that) and so I spent the remainder of the weekend and several days after that, stressing out over what was going to happen - even though I knew I did absolutely nothing wrong. This has got to be one of the worst feelings a parent can go through, even worse when the other parent is thousands of miles away.

As of this point in time, nothing has come about any of this.  My husband and I did sit said child down that night and via Skype discussed the severity of the situation.  We explained to said child the difference between discipline and abuse.  We told said child the possible consequences of their actions - not only to themselves, but to us as parents and us as a family.

I think they get it now.  At least I hope they do.

As for my co-worker.  I know which one it was.  I haven't confronted her yet - but I do plan on it.  I'm trying to wait a while and try to become less angry about the whole situation.  And I'm just not there yet.

On a side note, if you feel the need to report child abuse - please do so.  But before you do, please ensure you have spoken in detail with the child and even contacted the parent for their side if you are unsure.  Please don't put a family through the hell that this woman has to us.

The Joys of my Life

 Yea so, my night.....

I *allowed* my six (almost seven) year old son to run away.  He was in the midst of one of his "episodes" tonight (which lately happen ALL the time) when he screamed at me that he wanted to run away. I simply told him that was fine and he could get his stuff when we got home and go.

We get home and he runs to his room to pack his bag.  Within minutes he was back at the door with his suitcase.  I meanwhile had already moved on to trying to get dinner started.  He stood at the front door for a few minutes telling me over and over again that he was leaving - just waiting for a reaction.  When I didn't react, he opened the door and yelled that he was really leaving.  I still said nothing.  Finally after some more yelling and asking me if I really wanted him to leave and some more ignoring on my part - he walked out the door; where I promptly shut and locked it.

**And before anyone goes and gets all upset and calls social services on me - I watched him the entire time he was outside and was ready to go get him if I needed to**

I went and watched him from the window.  He stood in front of the door for a couple minutes, I assume waiting for me to come after him.  When he realized I wasn't coming he started to walk away but continued to look at the front door.  Within seconds he came running back to the door.  He realized the windows were open and yelled for me that he forgot something and wanted to come back in to get it.  I told him no, he ran away he couldn't come back in to get stuff.  (apparently he said he wanted his coat because it was cold, but it was really 70+ outside).

So he began walking away again.  This time he got to the neighbors sidewalk before he got freaked and came bolting back to the house.  He yells through the window again that he's ready to come back now and was sorry for running away.

When I finally let him back in and he was finally out of his "mood", he was ready to sit down for homework time.

Meanwhile during all of this, I was just dying to know what he had thought to pack and what was in his suitcase.  I didn't want to make a big deal of it but I did notice he left his bag at the front door.  Normally I would have requested that he take it back to his room; but because I wanted to know what was in it, I let it stay.  Are you curious to know what an almost 7 year-old would pack to run away?

Why, duh....doesn't everyone pack their Daddy's to run away!

And yes, his Daddy doll is the only thing that he packed to take with him.  

I sure hope his plan wasn't to go far!

The Lonely Four

My oldest asked tonight if she could get grapes for a snack for her and her brothers.....

Are you kidding me - she left 4 grapes left in the bag! 

The mind of a 9 year old - just baffle's me!

The Whirlwind.....

That is the only way to describe these past few weeks.  I have pretty much decided that there is no way other than bullet points to update everything that has gone on.  So here it goes:

• The kids spent a week home from summer camps and daycare and we did various day trips.
• We went to the Splash Playground at South Germantown park.

• We went to the National Zoo 

(Orangutans crossing in the zoo!)

• We made several visits to the pool.
• We went to see Toy Story 3.
• There was a stabbing in my neighborhood.  
• I planned and had my youngest's 3rd birthday.

(Playing with new toys with Pop)

• We went to see fireworks with some friends. 

• My youngest turned 3!

• I dealt with stress stemming from this post.
• It was discovered that my oldest son was covered in poison ivy.
• The kids all had their annual physicals.
• I had another dentist appointment.
• I attended my first Hearts Apart meeting with a friend.  
• I argued with Concordia and my dentist over some charges. 
• I took a mid-term for school. 
• I've been missing my husband like crazy!
• I spent a day at the pool by myself relaxing.
• It appears my youngest is beginning to suffer from separation anxiety.
• We enjoyed the company of some friends for a friends birthday party.
• We spent some more family time at the pool.  (My youngest is turning into a fish!)
• I took my oldest son to be evaluated.

This is the basics of our whirlwind that has been our past 2 1/2 weeks.  I am so ready for things to slow down a little and try to enjoy some of what is left of the summer.  I really need to work or de-stressing and trying to regain some of my emotional stability. 

Next week, my daughter has another week off of summer camp and we'll be redecorating her room - stay turned for updates on that....  (reminder to self:  take pics of her room currently)

My Baby Is Three!

My youngest turned three today!  It's so hard to believe that the time has gone by this quickly.  He has grown into a very independent, energetic, smart, handsome little boy before my very eyes!  Of course he's three and so there is also the sassy-ness that comes along with that, but we are trying to squash that pretty quickly.

Of course this is also the first kids birthday that my husband has ever missed and while the kids seem to be holding up just fine I'm the one who is really struggling these last few days!  I completely stressed myself out over his party on Saturday and come to find out, I shouldn't have because besides his parents, my parents and my grandmother - no one bothered to show up!  Actually some of them never even bothered to tell me one way or the other if they were going to come at all!

And what's even more upsetting than that, today on his actual birthday, the only one who called to wish him a happy birthday, was his Daddy!   (Daddy calling is not the upsetting part, the only is)  Can someone please explain to me how my husband can call from 6500+ miles away but not one single family member, from either side of our family, can actually call to wish him a happy birthday!  (Now, I do have to say that my sis, who is on a round the world trip, did do a birthday post for him and I wasn't really expecting her to call.)  I'm crushed! 

Back to the point of this post though.... 

Happy Birthday Dude-y!!  Mommy and Daddy love you very much!

(yes, I call him that and yes is sounds like the same word for poopy.  But that's not that weird because my oldest is called Knucklebutt (which has over the years been shortened to Butt) and my middle son we use to call FatBoy (until he called someone fat one day in the grocery store and didn't know he shouldn't) and my husband and I call each other Shithead and Shitface.)*


*all names truly are given out of love.  And when our oldest asked us (well actually my husband) to stop calling her that out in public, we complied; which we will do with all of them.  The youngest still loves it and gets upset if I call him anything else!  Please... I really don't need anyone to harass me about my kids nicknames today.

Whatdya Been Up To? Part 1

Lets see, where do I start?  My last day of work for the summer was last Wednesday.  I was able to skip out of work early, grab the kids, and hit the road.

We headed out to my parents second home in West Virginia.  (and yes, Dad, I am counting this one too.)  Over Memorial Day weekend we were out there (I just went to link to the post and realized, that I never posted about it...oops.) to spend the long weekend and I ended up buying a new dining room table.

It's beautiful!  I'm so in love!

 

 (And no, this is not my house.  It is the stock photo)

Only problem was they had to order it and my parents wouldn't be back to West Virginia until mid July.  And Little Miss Impatient (that's me) couldn't wait that long for them to bring it home.  So I went to get it myself.  I wish there was some entertaining story to go along with this, but it all went off without any problems.

The kids had a blast running amok in the woods

and through the paths.

I on the other hand had a blast taking pictures of flowers

and more flowers

and some wild life

and of course lots of the kids

There's still more to come from our time MIA .  I'll eventually get caught up.

Am I Losing It?

I have been so stressed out lately!

I finally have my 6 year old's first IEP scheduled for tomorrow morning at school. I'm honestly freaking out a little bit. After speaking with several of the special educators at the school (I work at the same school my children attend so I know most of them) I'm even more concerned that the school is going to blow off my concerns and tell me that he is too young to be tested.

While I'm not an expert by any means and I don't know exactly what the issue is with him, I do know that something is going on. I have my thoughts as to what it is but from what I gather the school isn't going to be too cooperative with this.

I know I should go in there with a positive attitude and know that they aren't going to "gang up" on me but unfortunately I'm not feeling that way now. I have a feeling this is going to be a long drawn out battle and I don't know how prepared I am for this. I do know I have no other option though as I believe this is what is best for my son.

At the same time I'm going through all of these emotions with my 6 year old, I'm slowing beginning to think I'm losing control with my almost 3 year old. The tantrums he once threw several months ago; have only gotten worse. It seems that no matter what I do - he doesn't care and doesn't listen. I know that the people who read this and know both me and my son, will think I'm crazy in saying this - but he is getting way out of control and I don't have the slightest idea with what to do. (Yes, the innocent little boy that some of you know - has a whole other side to him. And don't try to tell me otherwise.)

Several people have suggested that he is testing me since my husband is gone and I'm sure that has something to do with it; but, that doesn't help me solve the problem. I'm seriously scared that he is going to be completely out of control by the time my husband gets home.

And it use to be that he would only throw these tantrums when we were home and now it doesn't seem to matter where we are. He is so strong willed and so stubborn. (And again, the people who know me will say that I'm just as stubborn too but again that doesn't help me get through this.) At lacrosse practice last week I had to strap him into his car seat in the truck screaming at the top of his lungs because he wasn't getting his way and wouldn't listen. Today I had to leave the YMCA because he was screaming when I tried to drop him off at child care. And not just yelling, screaming bloody murder telling people not to touch him whenever someone got close. I was embarrassed to say the least and in the end - he got his way, which was to leave because he didn't want to be there.

I am at a complete loss and feel like I'm losing all control. Add all of this to the fact that I can't sleep at night (I'm lucky most nights to get 5 or 6 hours of sleep tops) it makes for a very bad day! It's like I'm spiraling out of control and I have to do something NOW! I just don't know what....

Icing on The Cake

So we had our first ER visit of this deployment today.

That is a picture of my poor two year old's head after a fall at daycare. Now daycare calls quite frequently telling me that he has fallen and gotten a bruise but when they called today and said I needed to come - I'll be honest - I panicked.

We went off to the ER and lucky for us the pediatric side had just opened and we were their first patients of the morning. I say lucky for us, because this was the fastest ER visit we've ever had. We were in and out within an hour!

They obviously said it wasn't anything too serious and that it looks far worse than it actually is. I'm just watching him closely for the rest of the day and hopefully all will go well.

This is all just the icing on the cake of the past 7 days and I'm hoping it's over now. Last Tuesday night, my 2 year old was up vomiting but otherwise no other symptoms or problems. I kept him home half-day on Wednesday and he was fine.

I went back to work on Thursday only to have the nurse come down and tell me that my 9 year old has an ear infection. I left work again and took her to the doctors where they confirmed yes, she did have an ear infection.

Then Saturday evening my 2 year old develops a fever that lasted until yesterday, only for this to happen to him today. I'm really hoping this whirlwind of sickness/doctor visits is over. At least for a couple months...I don't know how much more I'll be able to take!

From The Mouth Of.....

I use to do a regular from the mouth of post since my 6 year old is forever saying the darnedest things. And my 2 year old is right on his tail with the wittiness these days. Maybe I'll start posting more of these again but for now here are a few:

Husband: "Welcome to my world."
2 year old: "Welcome my world. I here all the time."

Husband: "I'm sorry, I don't want to go either but it's my job and I have to go."
6 year old: "Well doesn't the captain care that your kid is crying."

And here's one more retold to me from my mom when she was here watching the kids:

My mom: “Come on, [2 year old], Let’s get your PJs on and get you ready for bed"
2 year old: “My want shower"
My mom: “No, Mommy said you don’t need a shower tonight. Let’s get your PJs on.”
2 year old: “No. My want shower.”
My mom: “Mommy said no shower tonight, buddy.”
2 year old: “No Mommy NOT. My. Want. SHOWER.”

I'm glad that they are able to keep me laughing through all of this. I don't know what I would do without them!

Help/Suggestions Appreciated

I need help and suggestions for my 6 year old son. Since he was 4, I've had suspicions that he may be struggling with dyslexia. (I know everyone says you can't diagnose dyslexia that young but there are many more symptoms besides the reading/writing aspects and it also runs in my husbands side of the family)

Coupled with my concerns of dyslexia, he has had some fairly difficult behavior problems that only seem to be present at school. At home, he is a good kid minus the frequent squabbles with his siblings.

I'm at such a loss because he can go weeks without having a bad day and all of a sudden they are back with a vengeance. He'll tell me it's so easy to be good at school and then all of a sudden he's telling me it's too hard and he can't do it.

Many, many people have suggested that his behaviors are because of my husbands deployment, but I'm going to have to say I don't agree. He is actually normally better behaved when my husband is gone than when he is home (which makes no sense to me). And these issues have been on-going for a couple years not just since my husband has left.

Does anyone else have a child who has similar characteristics? Or worked or known a child like this? Do you have any suggestions on what to try? Or what the root cause may be?

We've tried many different discipline techniques, behavior plans (which I found out yesterday that his teacher was NOT doing correctly), speaking with counselors and psychiatrists and administrators at the school, and even yesterday I requested for him to officially be evaluated by a special educator.

I'm at a loss. I don't know what else to do to get him the help that he obviously needs....

What Was He Thinking?!?!

Please tell me why my near 3 year old has insisted on coming to get in bed with me almost every morning for the past week and a half. Normally he doesn't come down until about 6:30am - which I'm completely fine with because I should be awake by then anyway (although I rarely am).

But seriously, two times in the past two weeks, he has come down into bed sometime in the wee hours of the morning and climbed into bed with me. I know...that doesn't sound that horrible...

BUT - both times, it's been because he's peed in his bed! Do you think that this sweet child of mine, would bother telling me - hey mom, I peed in my bed, I'm soaking wet and I'm about to get into your bed? Of course not, why would he do that.

Then not only do I have to change his sheets and blankets but than I have to change all of mine as well. This is not exactly what I want to be doing at o-dark thirty when I should still be getting those last few precious hours of sleep. (Oh how I miss having Daddy home to help out with these times.)

And the kicker to it all - after the first time, I thought he had peed in my bed when he climbed in sometime in the middle of the night. And I said, "Mommy is not happy that you peed in my bed!" And with the biggest smile on his face full of pride he says, "Mommy I peed in MY bed too!" That's when I realized what was actually happening.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has a child that does this.....

Weekend Snipets

I had a pretty awesome weekend. Friday evening the kids went to my parents house and I got some much need R&R....actually I went out - got a manicure and pedicure and then came home and sat around bored!

Saturday morning put me on the road for a road trip to see my hubby! Yup, I drove up to the mob site to see him and it was wonderful! We got to spend the day and the night together.

Woke up this morning at 6am though to hit the road to come home. My dad and I were taking the boys to see Thomas at the B&O Railroad Museum. They absolutely loved it! While the oldest was feeling a little old (he's 6 and I knew he'd be at the age where he was on the fence whether he thought it was still cool), he still had fun and even let it show in a couple photos I was able to capture. The youngest (2.5) of course was in Thomas heaven! And Dad - I'm pretty sure he had as much fun as the boys....

So after a full fun packed weekend - why did I find myself coming home and yelling at the kids? Is it because I'm tired? Because I realize I'm alone again? Did the stress of having to leave my husband again finally get to me? Did knowing that so much still had to be done since I was gone all weekend stress me out? Or is it even me - or are they acting out more?

I wish I knew. Hopefully I'm not the only one who feels like I'm on an emotional roller coaster....

Drained

Hmmm....where do I start? It has been a long, hard weekend. Not just for me but for the kids too. The oldest two broke down and cried (or should I say bawled) their eyes out last night. It was so unexpected as neither of them have really showed too much emotion up until that point.

We've been talking with the kids since December about the deployment and none of them cried when we told them or at any other point, so we were thinking they viewed it as any other time that Daddy has left. (Which has never been for a whole year, but it's frequent enough that a month to the kids is no big deal.)

I'm not sure what exactly happened last night though. As I sat there on the couch with my kids sobbing in my lap, I was waiting for myself to break down again and join in with them. I really thought that's what was going to happen. Instead, holding my children, I had this incredible strength come over me and I realized I had to be strong for my kids. I couldn't let them see me break down at that point because they needed to pull their strength from me; and how could they do that if I was a puddle on the floor.

When my husband left for the mob site today, (they are already there and have made it safely if anyone is wondering) I knew I had to do the same thing again today. I stood strong - hugged and kissed him goodbye and left. We decided that we would leave before the bus so it was us saying goodbye instead of him leaving us.

It seems to have worked out, the kids did the same as I and have been much better today as well. It also hasn't hurt that I've kept all of us busy all day and haven't allowed for much down time. I'm sure there will still be many more tears shed over the next year, but for now it feels good to be reassured that I am a strong person and I can get through the next year.

Just a Few More Minutes....Please

This is what happens when you bring your 2 year old into your room at 6:30 am in an attempt to get a few more minutes of sleep without him waking the older two:

He removes more than half of your shoes from the closet (on the other side of the room) and arranges them in neat lines. Who knows how far he would have gotten had I not opened my eyes when I did! He was so proud of himself.

(Note: I know the picture is horrible - but in my defense - I took it with my phone while half asleep. )

Melt Down

OMFG! My youngest (age 2 1/2) just threw the mother of all tantrums! Seriously - 30 freaking minutes of him screaming & yelling, beating & kicking at the door and ramming the door with his body. And get this - all because I told him to go brush his teeth!

I believe that I'm a strong person but this little boy may bring me down yet over the next 15 months if I have to keep dealing with this! Please help me to get through this!

I love you like a fresh meatball

Yes Toadmama - it indeed does say, I love you like a fresh meatball!

Where he came up with this, I really have no clue. I asked him and he said it was from a movie but he has no idea what movie it came from. I tried doing a little bit of google searching myself but this is all I came up with:

1. I'll sleep with you for a meatball. Not exactly the same, but close.
2. I love you like a tomato. They're both round but besides that, nothing. (a reminder to self: this sounds like it may be a good book - maybe I should buy it)
3. Lots of meatball recipes. But I liked this one the best.
4. How to tell a girl you love her. WARNING: hilarious but not for the faint of heart. Don't say I didn't warn you!
5. Meatball bubble gum. Sounds gross if you ask me - although they say it's bubble gum flavored.
6. Eye ball meatball I love you. I have no idea....

Anyone know what movie he got this from? Perhaps he made it up and I just wasted 30 minutes google searching it. That's probably the more likely scenario.

Valentine's Day

We celebrated Valentine's Day by sending the kids to the grandparents house! We had dinner with awesome friends Friday evening. Went skiing on Saturday. And then hung out with my best friend Saturday evening before heading out to dinner again. Upon the return of the kids on Sunday, they had made us Valentine's cards. While they were all cute, this one is by far my favorite.

Would you like to take any guesses as to what it says?

More Christmas Stuff

Friday night I signed Girl and I up to make gingerbread houses at the youth center on post. I decided I would leave SF at home with the boys and her and I could spend some "mommy and me" time together.

She had a lot of fun. After making a mess (me) and eating more candy than possibly went on the actual house (her); here was what we had:




I think it turned out pretty good. Of course now it's a feat just to convince her that it's okay if we eat it!

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Girl!

I can't believe that you are 8 years old already!

It's amazing how the time has flown by!

You are such an amazing person! You are a wonderful daughter and an amazing big sister. You have such a big heart and you would do anything for anyone! I wish you could stay this age forever...but I know that you are growing up to be an even more amazing person - and I can't wait to see what the years ahead bring.

Wishbone Wishing

My sister and I had this tradition every Thanksgiving of breaking the wishbone when we were kids - and actually even a couple years ago for that matter.

But I decided that I had to grow up and pass this tradition onto my kids this year.


After I explained the rules, they were set and ready to go.

(**Don't mind all the green paint on Boy 1 - he is 5 after all**)

I'm not real sure what happened as this was the result:


It had cracked into 6 pieces! I have never before had or seen this happen. They were both pretty bummed when I told them that no ones wish was going to come true...

Has this happened to anyone before or know why it would happen? Did I do something wrong? I'm thinking that they may have been so excited that they pulled incredibly too hard...is that possible?

I guess we'll have to try again next year....